Flying Dreams
by Chi Chi1
Summary: This takes place right after Pan is born; Gohan thinks about what it means to be a parent, and what his newborn daughter means to him.


Flying Dreams  
  
  
  
All along he thought he had known; he thought he knew what it would feel like to be a parent. As soon as he found out that his wife was pregnant, he decided that he was going to be the best father that he could possibly be. He had read books --- piles and piles of literature on parenting, assuming that if he studied hard enough and knew enough about it, he would be able to raise his child in a perfect way. And he had studied his parents as well. He watched their eyes as he walked in through the door, saw how proud they were of him and how much they loved him. Watching them and studying his piles of books, he thought he understood what it would feel like to have a child of his own. He had made a parenting plan; a list of things that he needed to do and say when situations arose, or when the child reached a certain age. While Videl was out shopping for baby clothes, cribs and nursery books, he stayed at home and drew a diagram of age progression. When she had her baby shower and the entire house was filled with excited, giggling women, he was at the library, reading up on the effects of pollution on young children. And when Videl came to him with a list of male and female baby names, he told her to pick whatever she would like, too busy studying to choose a name.  
  
He thought that he was preparing himself to be a parent. By the time Pan was born, he had read every single book that the library had about the subject, and could write a ten page paper on just the subject of baby food alone. He thought that he was capable enough and full of enough parenting knowledge to be able to raise her properly. All this time, he thought that he knew what it was going to be like to be a father. But he had no idea.  
  
He could *never* have known what this felt like without experiencing it. Everything that he had learned and studied over the past nine months was simply thrown out the window, completely forgotten. Becoming a parent was not about knowing facts and statistics about *other* parents and children. It was about your own child and how you felt about that child. And all through those nine months, he had never even thought about that. He never would have fathomed the emotion he would feel as he held his newborn daughter in his shaking arms.  
  
It was a love so strong that it took his breath away. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, not even when he came to realize that he was in love with Videl. It had more strength, more truth, and more innocence than he ever thought love could possess. It came over him like a tidal wave, making his heart swell and ache in his chest. It was everything. Gohan stared at his daughter now, stared at her tiny little hands and her tiny little face. She was so little, so perfect, so beautiful.  
  
"She's perfect, isn't she?" Videl asked him, tears in her light blue eyes.  
  
He found himself speechless, staring at his wife, staring at his daughter. She really was perfect. Inside of this tiny little being was the perfect combination of him and Videl. She had Videl's soft hair and creamy skin, and her nose and mouth as well. They speculated that the baby would one day grow to be a complete copy of her mother. This made him smile. His wife was a beautiful woman, and one day he knew that his daughter would be just as beautiful. But somehow he knew that when the baby's sleepy eyes opened, they would be his eyes, not Videl's. Instead of sky blue, they would be dark and deep, full of knowledge and warmth and courage. She would gaze at the world through his eyes, but feel nothing of the pain that he had felt in his lifetime.  
  
He would protect her with all of his heart and soul. He never wanted to see her cry or see her hurt, and he would do his best to assure that neither of those ever happened. She would grow up in a world of peace, in a world where things like Freezer and Cell and Buu would never exist. She would not know what it was like to lose someone that she loved; she would not know what it felt like to be defeated and so close to death that you could taste it in your mouth. She would never be hurt by anyone and she would never have to feel as though she were unwanted. She would be all that he could never be, and live the kind of life that he himself had always longed for.  
  
At the same time though, he would not clip her wings. He would let her live her life, let her experience all of the beautiful things that it had to offer. He would let her grow as a person, let her become a woman that was full of courage and strength and kindness. He would teach her determination and dedication, and show her how to face a problem with open arms and open eyes. She would become a fighter, because it was in her blood to do so. And she would use her strength and power for good, to protect those that she loved and cared about, because there was no other acceptable use for such power. She would learn that knowledge was important and necessary, just like he had learned when he had been younger. And she would compile all of that strength and all of that knowledge, molding them together to form and invincible heart. The kind of heart that could never be hurt and could never be defeated.  
  
He was so full of dreams as he stared down at his daughter and watched her sleep. Most of all, he hoped that as a parent, he would be able to give all of these things to her. He hoped that he would be able to be a good father. Inside of her tiny little body, she held so much potential and so many of his dreams. She could be anything, do anything, become anything. An entire lifetime was ahead of her, full of adventure and love and happiness. He hoped that she would never let anything stop her, and that she would never give up on anything or anyone. He hoped that she would learn and love, and experience everything that she could ever possible experience in this life.  
  
A tear ran down his cheek, falling onto the soft pink blanket that was wrapped around his tiny daughter. She would take all of the dreams and hopes that he had been building inside of his heart, and she would make them happen. He would be able to transfer all of his dreams to her, because in her beautiful eyes --- eyes like his, she had the power to make those dreams come true. She held a world full of possibilities, a handful of miracles, and a heart full of love and hope. She was everything.  
  
"Hai." He finally answered Videl, tears in his dark eyes. "She is perfect. She's absolutely perfect."  
  
Dream by night  
  
Wish by day  
  
Love begins this way. Loving starts  
  
When open hearts  
  
Touch and stay. Sleep for now  
  
Dreaming is how  
  
Lover's lives are planned.  
  
Future songs  
  
And flying dreams  
  
Hand, in hand. 


End file.
